I was too tired to recap the South Carolina debate Thursday night. I figured there would be another one soon. And I was right. Tonight, Mittens took a lot of swings at Newt. Looks like someone is bitter about South Carolina. Anyway, to those who spared themselves unnecessary pain, enjoy! 🙂
Newt Gingrich
1. Four consecutive balanced budgets, low unemployment, and welfare reform. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Super Speaker!
2. “Hold on, friend.” I did not lobby congressmen. So what if my entities were paid by health companies? I can’t have dinner with old friends before important votes?
3. In America, we speak American!
Mitt Romney
1. I am electable because I’m a leader. And I didn’t share a sofa with Pelosi and resign in disgrace.
2. I will not show 12 years of income taxes. Is this an election or an audit?
3. Obama plays 90 rounds of golf with 25 million out of work. And I’m spending way more than 25 million to be the guy playing 90 rounds of golf.
Ron Paul
1. More 30 years and younger voters love me than Obama, so it’s a stretch to say I’m not electable.
2. If Castro dies, open up talks with Cuba. And send them gift baskets! See? I’m not an isolationist.
3. Nationally, we should have one language. English. Pero, si estados como Florida quieren boletas en Español, esta bien. ¡Viva Ron Paul!
Rick Santorum
1. Look there are two other people up here. Not just Newt and Mittens.
2. Cuba? Once the entire Castro clan is gone, we make sure they don’t hook up with Iran. I hate Iran, if you haven’t figured that out by now.
3. Vote for me, the real Conservative. Tea Partiers – there’s no difference between these two and Obama.
Spinny Liberal 