No Potty Mouths on Planes

Children’s Author Ejected from Plane for Bad Language

He said the F word. Maybe twice. A flight attendant who was seated behind him complained, and he was escorted off the plane.

Are you kidding me?

He didn’t yell about bombs, which can land your ass in serious trouble nowadays. He was frustrated that the plane wasn’t taking off. And wondered what was taking so long. I’m pretty sure he said something like, “What the f is taking so long?” It wasn’t like he was yelling at the attendant to f off.

Of course, we should all conduct ourselves in ways that don’t suggest that we were raised by wolves. However, exasperation can wear on even the most polite of us. The crew should have cut this guy some slack.

Avoid Air Hassles: Be Discreet and on Your Best Behavior

Federal rules say that “no one may interfere, intimidate or threaten a crewmember,” said Federal Aviation Administration spokeswoman Alison Duquette. “It’s completely up to the pilot in command if they want to not allow someone to take a flight.” That means air crews have a lot of discretion in deciding what constitutes disruptive behavior.

So basically, an attendant who is having a bad day can get punch drunk with power and boot someone off if they’re getting on their nerves? Oh joy!

Since 9/11, we’ve had to put up with so much crap. Shoes, purses, watches, etc. all go in grey tubs down a conveyor belt so a vigilant TSA agent can declare your hand lotion a threat to our national security. Of course, you can get felt up and not even get dinner first. If you object, you can always opt for the radiation refrigerator. Now, you can’t even wonder out loud about why the plane is still on the f’n tarmac?

I’ve been on 16 hour flights and have had to connect. I am not in the best of moods after those. It’s hard for me to sleep on planes, and I can only watch the in-flight entertainment so many times. If my connecting flight is having issues, and I’ve been begging the Baby Jesus to just get me to my hotel room at my destination, I might get a little super pissy.

From that guy’s experience, I better wonder aloud into my oxygen mask, or do a full body freak out in the privacy of the lavatory. Apparently, “I am quite displeased with this situation” is acceptable. “OMG can we get in the f’n air so I don’t stab myself with a spork?” isn’t.

The joys of post-9/11 travel.

Secretary Ray LaHood Doesn’t Need No Stinkin’ Experts

FAA Gives Tired Controllers an Extra Hour to Rest

Those air traffic controllers, you know, the people who make sure planes don’t crash into each other and land safely? Some of them have been caught nodding off on the job. Why? They’re totally exhausted. What was the recommendation to remedy the problem? Sleep experts said they should be allowed to take naps. Germany and Japan allow their controllers to do so, and have set up special rooms and cots for them. Right now, they can’t even nap during their breaks!! WTH?

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood took a look at their recommendation and tossed it aside. Instead, he’s making sure that each controller have 9 hours off between shifts instead of 8. Big whoop. Experts said that the problem for midnight shifts would only slightly improve.

Does Secretary LaHood know what’s in fire stations? Beds. Rested workers are good workers. When we’re dealing with multi-ton objects flying around in the sky, having alert ones would be helpful.

Bill Voss, president of the Flight Safety Foundation of Alexandria, VA summed it up beautifully:

“Given the body of scientific evidence, that decision clearly demonstrates that politics remain more important than public safety. People are concerned about a political backlash if they allow controllers to have rest periods in their work shifts the same way firefighters and trauma physicians do.”

Yeah, screw safety. It’s all about placating the base.