GOP Debate: A FOX Mess in Myrtle Beach

They were all over the place tonight. It started as “take a swing at Mittens.” Then they covered everything from Turkey to the Taliban. In case you did yourself a favor and skipped it, here are the highlights:

Newt Gingrich
1. Look man. Forget what I said about attacking other Conservatives. I’m exposing the empty suit, and when I’m hit, I hit back.
2. “Only the elites despise earning money.” Yeah, I know I don’t make sense.
3. Cain isn’t the only one who loves Chile. Social Security, Chilean style, baby.

Mitt Romney
1. President Obama will come after me…because I’m the one who will win this thing, losers.
2. Everyone knows I have more money than God. If you need proof, yeah, I’ll show you my income tax records.
3. “We go anywhere they are and we kill them.” I’m not just a vulture capitalist, I’m a killing machine.

Ron Paul
1. I needed a half hour infomercial to expose Santorum. I was given a minute.
2. More military personnel support me than these clowns. That should tell you how popular these wars are.
3. 900 bases, an embassy in Baghdad bigger than the Vatican, and nation building. And people wonder why we don’t have money for our own unemployed people.

Rick Perry
1. Turkey is run by Islamic terrorists. You just got a taste of Perry Diplomacy.
2. This administration’s war on religion is out of control. I need your votes, South Carolina religious Conservatives. Don’t give them to that Catholic yankee.
3. Improve the housing market by killing Freddie and Fannie, the government puppet twins.

Rick Santorum
1. Voting for No Child Left Behind? My bad.
2. If you work, finish high school, and have kids after you’re married, you will never be poor. I promise.
3. No sacred cows. We’re going after rich seniors who don’t need Social Security. Redistribution of wealth? Not when the GOP suggests it.

14 responses to “GOP Debate: A FOX Mess in Myrtle Beach

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