It’s Official. I’m a Twit.

I have succumbed to the dark side. I joined Twitter.

I’ve avoided Twitter for a lot of reasons. Reading that someone is “in the kitchen drinking lemonade and heating up lasagna” didn’t sound particularly exciting. And sharing that I am “in the kitchen drinking lemonade and heating up lasagna?” I know that isn’t exciting.

But, my partner, self-diagnosed with ADD, loves it. She’s always sharing these cool Tweets with me. Some were hilarious! Others, profound. I had to check out for myself. So, tonight, I leapt into last decade. I wonder if this will stick, though. I’m pretty much MIA on Facebook.

Anyway, if you are on Twitter, please share your username. I’ll follow/stalk you. You can follow/stalk me, too.


40 responses to “It’s Official. I’m a Twit.

  • Ric

    Comrade, even I am active on Facebook, which is not something I admit to just anyone. But Twitter? The next thing we’ll hear is that you are posting your Klout score. I suppose it is inevitable: many of the comrades from the old days occasionally hinted that you were something of a twit. But I always stoutly defended you. Now what do I do?

    • Sedate Me

      Klout score? Is that one of the scores cranked out by the gadget everyone wears in the novel http://supersadtruelovestory.com/ ?

      • Ric

        It’s a score based on the number of followers you have. Some companies in entertainment and p.r. and the like actually base their hiring decisions based on this idiot number. And of course there are the individual idiots who use it to judge who they should date or otherwise associate with. There’s a company that handles the Klout score database and suchlike.

        As for sadtruewhateverstory, it sounds like a chick flick dot com. Too scary for me.

      • Sedate Me

        Chick flick dot com? Not even sure what that means, but it’s a novel. The website gives a synopsis. Not that I’ve read the book, (seen/read plenty of interviews with the writer though) its about a love story in the way that Orwell’s 1984 is about a love story.

        As for this Klout Score being something that could come from the novel, your description indicates my guess was right.

      • Ric

        See? 1984. John Hurt. Suzanna Hamilton. Richard Burton. Love story. Chick flick.

      • Sedate Me

        Yeah, come to think of it, 1984 was a bit sappy and definitely overly optimistic. I guess that’s what it takes to score at the box office.

        But, as love stories go, it wasn’t all that bad. I mean, the way Burton’s character got John Hurt’s character to submit to the love of “Big Brother” was…well…almost touching.

    • Spinny Liberal

      Think of me what you will, comrade. As for the others, the ones who aren’t cracked from PTSD are on to other missions. Thank you for defending me. Being the best shot in the department (long ago), they would never have the stones to call me a twit to my face.

      • Ric

        Marko did once call you a twit to your face, but you were passed out. Even so, I dealt with him. I have always held you in the highest regard, comrade, despite our little problems in Minsk.

      • Spinny Liberal

        Well, Marko was the worst of them. He waited until I was passed out. Typical. Mmm “little” problem in Minsk. Not even going to go there.

      • Ric

        Ummm, yeah, sorry about the midgets.

      • Spinny Liberal

        I guess that’s all you can really say. It’s me who wakes up in a cold sweat screaming because of them. Nearly ruined my escape.

      • Ric

        Then I suspect it’s a good thing I didn’t tell you at the time about the hit squad of Mongolian dwarves waiting down the East Road. Good choice to go West.

      • Spinny Liberal

        I was tipped off about the Mongolian dwarves which is why I chose to go West. I had a very close call with a gang of cross-eyed garden gnomes. They make quite a mess with their AK-47s. I just kept low to the ground.

        All of this wouldn’t have happened if you showed up, you know. But water under the bridge, comrade.

      • Ric

        I would have been there if that damned troll from Mazursky’s Ogre Brigade hadn’t caught me and tied me to the bridge just before they released the dam and sent all that water under the bridge. Fortunately trolls are lousy tiers of knots and I was able to climb to the top of the bridge, but it was hours before the water went down and I was able to get away. But blame Mazursky, not me. He was trying to get back at you through me for what he claims you did to him at Omsk.

      • Spinny Liberal

        And what did I do to him at Omsk? He thinks I left him, but I actually saved his ass by letting the three-legged hyenas have at him. No way could he have beaten those axe-wielding puppets. He leaves with a few scratches, and I walk with a limp. I should be getting back at him!

      • Ric

        You didn’t know that the scratches you refer to so blithely became infected and cost him his… well, his manhood, to be polite about it. I would guess though that you didn’t know that three-legged hyenas are carriers of a particularly nasty bacteria. Perhaps you and Mazursky might consider mediation, using a neutral mediator paid for by the State. The Leader feels a certain obligation to you in view of your dangerous and much-appreciated service. After all, the Civil Disharmony is over after forty-seven years. Perhaps it is time to unite the disparate worlds of humans and… well, those others.

        By the way, the puppets? They were recalled and recycled into material for Serta Perfect Sleeper mattresses. Another environmental success for The Leader.

      • Spinny Liberal

        You know, I’m really sorry about his manhood and all, but there is surgery for that. My limp is permanent. I heard rumors about The Leader wanting us to resolve our differences. I don’t know if we could ever get back to those glory days, though. The road to lost manhood and limps is paved with good intentions.

        A fitting fate for the puppets. He can call it environmental success. I call it justice.

      • Ric

        Mazursky sent a message for you. I merely pass it on. He said: May you sleep with the puppets.

        I hear he has a job in a mattress factory.

      • Spinny Liberal

        Please pass one on to him. “May you develop gangrene on that stump that was once your manhood.”

      • Ric

        Who told you that? He’s only got a couple of days to live, according to the docs.

      • Spinny Liberal

        Couple days and still working at the mattress factory? Sorry I don’t buy it. He’s scheming. I can feel it in my good leg.

      • Ric

        He’s able to keep working until the end because he gets to lie down on the job a lot.

        And shouldn’t you be feeling it in your bad leg since that’s the one that was involved with Mazursky in the incident?

      • Spinny Liberal

        Good leg. With the permanent limp comes numbness. Watch. He’ll suddenly “bounce back,” and he’ll come after me – since you tipped him off that I’m still around.

      • Ric

        Not to worry. He died this morning, at 1003 GMT. I was with him and I am certain. His last words were, “Gmzzlkh pkkls.” Or something like that. There will be no bouncy-bouncy Mazursky. He is with John Cleese’s parrot.

      • Spinny Liberal

        Godspeed, Mazursky. I never wished him ill, and I took a hit to the leg for him. And yet he believed I threw him under the bus…or to the three legged hyenas. I’ll light a few candles for our fallen comrade. Hopefully, he won’t haunt me.

      • Ric

        He promised to leave you alone, at least until you get to the afterlife. But he was really looking forward to meeting the parrot.

  • lbwoodgate

    I seldom use FB. Don’t ever really see myself going to twitter, but you never know.

  • lobotero

    Spinny, welcome aboard……I thought it was a silly thing….but I get up-to-date news as it happens and that is worth the BS that comes with it….get to work! LOL

  • Don in Massachusetts

    I’ve been on Twitter going on four years, and I’ve seen a lot of changes during that time. I very seldom use it, as most of the regulars that I tweeted have more or less disappeared.

    Good luck with it.

  • Sedate Me

    Luckily for you (and everyone else) I have too much work right now to give even a fraction of my thoughts on the Twit Zone and Loserbook. I would honestly rather be shot in the face by Dark Lord Cheney than use either.

    Facebook is a cleverly disguised for-profit spy service that makes money by turning you into the product that they sell to any corporation interested. It hooks needy, attention seeking, losers with no personal boundaries into their web with false promises of winning “friends” who will “like” them. It lets you form intimate friendships with people (or socialbots who knows anymore?) you’ll never meet while it helps you ignore the “loved ones” sitting in the next room.

    The Twit Zone’s primary mission in life is to create an even bigger market for ADD medications by eliminating people’s ability to concentrate on anything for more than a couple of seconds. Once you get used to this format, 7 second soundbites will appear “too boring & intellectual” in no time. Pretty soon, literacy rates will rival those of the Middle Ages. The short, reactionary kind of thinking it encourages can only help the Republicans in the long run.

    Spinny, I emplore you to quit before it’s too late.

    • Ric

      Ah, the Middle Ages. Dante. Chaucer. That Middle Ages? Or wait, are you talking instead about Middle Earth? Or was that Harry Potter? Harry Chaucer? I’m sorry, what did you say again?

    • Spinny Liberal

      I had a feeling that would be your response, sedate. As for your pleas, I’ll take it under advisement.

      • Sedate Me

        Hey, when have you known me to be wrong? (Don’t answer that.) I know my doom & gloom.

        Actually, Spinny, that’s just the microscopic version of my response. I’ve been working on a more complete response to the topic for a year or two. It’s up to about 16,379 words at the moment. And almost half of them aren’t even curse words! There’s a surprising amount of documentation there (ie Zuckerburg malfeasance, social-bots, identity theft, stalking, sock puppetry etc) But crackheads just don’t listen to reason. All they want is another hit.

        “Up to the minute” is also just code for “Shit we slapped together without much thought.” One need only to turn on cable “news” to realize that 24/7 Instantaneous communication is highly over-rated and often hazardous to your mental health…and it’s considered “old & slow” media now.

      • Sedate Me

        Never mind that ol’ Jewish hippie with the Mexican name. Before doing anything, you should always ask yourself, “What would Sedate Me do?”

  • aFrankAngle

    I haven’t gone that way yet … but am thinking about it … but not for sending out, but for receiving. Oh well .. still thinking. Besides, I don’t have the time currently.

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