The Bloomberg GOP Debate: Show Me the Money!

For those who have lives and didn’t take the Devil’s bait at, here are the highlights:

Michele Bachmann
1. It wasn’t Wall Street. The Federal Government tanked this economy.
2. Invert 9-9-9, and you’ll see that pizza man is the Antichrist.
3. Go to to see my solutions and get your free pocket size copy of the Constitution.

Herman Cain
1. Keep talking about my 9-9-9. It’s starting to stick!
2. I wasn’t talking about the 14 million. Those dirty, hippie protesters have themselves to blame for their unemployment.
3. “I was po before I was poor” so I can relate. But my policies will screw you. Thank God I’m not you anymore.

Newt Gingrich
1. Don’t go after business people, tar and feather Bernanke.
2. Obama’s weekly press conferences are depressing apologies.
3. I know I’m not going to get this nomination. So screw it all. Palin was right. Obamacare means death panels.

Jon Huntsman
1. ” 9-9-9…I thought it was the price of a pizza when I first heard it!”
2. My dad is the best! He came from nothing, and now I’m using his money to fund my campaign!
3. If we’re in a trade war with China, don’t blame me because you didn’t choose the Mormon fluent in Mandarin.

Ron Paul
1. I will kill the evil twins, Fannie and Freddy.
2. Herman called me and my people ignorant, and I can prove it. Followers, find me his quote.
3. Sarbanes-Oxley was just as bad as Dodd-Frank. Which means Republicans suck too.

Rick Perry
1. Thank God this debate is about the economy and not Mormons or vaccinating illegal aliens.
2. My plan: O-I-L. Easier than 9-9-9.
3. Back up with that Gore/Democrat thing, Michele. Don’t make me bring up you and Carter.

Mitt Romney
1. TARP sucked on so many levels, but it was necessary. Did you have to make me say that out loud?
2. Screw China and their yuan. Hell yeah, I want a trade war. Bring it.
3. Don’t interrupt me, Goodhair. I care about uninsured kids. You care about illegal aliens.

Rick Santorum
1. Manufacturing jobs will come back. If US workers are willing to be paid in Rupees.
2. R comes before S. Not only do I know my ABCs, I’m fair. Go ahead, Mittens.
3. Poverty can be blamed on one thing. The breakdown of my definition of family.

16 responses to “The Bloomberg GOP Debate: Show Me the Money!

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