For those who have lives and didn’t take the Devil’s bait at bloomberg.com, here are the highlights:
Michele Bachmann
1. It wasn’t Wall Street. The Federal Government tanked this economy.
2. Invert 9-9-9, and you’ll see that pizza man is the Antichrist.
3. Go to michelebachmann.com to see my solutions and get your free pocket size copy of the Constitution.
Herman Cain
1. Keep talking about my 9-9-9. It’s starting to stick!
2. I wasn’t talking about the 14 million. Those dirty, hippie protesters have themselves to blame for their unemployment.
3. “I was po before I was poor” so I can relate. But my policies will screw you. Thank God I’m not you anymore.
Newt Gingrich
1. Don’t go after business people, tar and feather Bernanke.
2. Obama’s weekly press conferences are depressing apologies.
3. I know I’m not going to get this nomination. So screw it all. Palin was right. Obamacare means death panels.
Jon Huntsman
1. ” 9-9-9…I thought it was the price of a pizza when I first heard it!”
2. My dad is the best! He came from nothing, and now I’m using his money to fund my campaign!
3. If we’re in a trade war with China, don’t blame me because you didn’t choose the Mormon fluent in Mandarin.
Ron Paul
1. I will kill the evil twins, Fannie and Freddy.
2. Herman called me and my people ignorant, and I can prove it. Followers, find me his quote.
3. Sarbanes-Oxley was just as bad as Dodd-Frank. Which means Republicans suck too.
Rick Perry
1. Thank God this debate is about the economy and not Mormons or vaccinating illegal aliens.
2. My plan: O-I-L. Easier than 9-9-9.
3. Back up with that Gore/Democrat thing, Michele. Don’t make me bring up you and Carter.
Mitt Romney
1. TARP sucked on so many levels, but it was necessary. Did you have to make me say that out loud?
2. Screw China and their yuan. Hell yeah, I want a trade war. Bring it.
3. Don’t interrupt me, Goodhair. I care about uninsured kids. You care about illegal aliens.
Rick Santorum
1. Manufacturing jobs will come back. If US workers are willing to be paid in Rupees.
2. R comes before S. Not only do I know my ABCs, I’m fair. Go ahead, Mittens.
3. Poverty can be blamed on one thing. The breakdown of my definition of family.
Spinny Liberal 
October 12th, 2011 at 12:40 AM
Thanks so much for the summary. Now everything is perfectly clear.
October 12th, 2011 at 4:07 PM
🙂 I love doing these.
October 12th, 2011 at 1:12 AM
As always a very good analysis…….still it boils down to tax cuts and Obama sucks….
October 12th, 2011 at 4:08 PM
Haha exactly! The entire debate can be summed up with tax cuts and Obama sucks.
October 12th, 2011 at 1:22 AM
It’s an embarassing field of candidates. They repeat the same nonsense over and over again.
October 12th, 2011 at 4:09 PM
Over and over. Nothing new. Well, that 9-9-9 thing is sorta new.
October 12th, 2011 at 3:30 AM
Always a pleasure to read Cheryl
October 12th, 2011 at 4:09 PM
Thanks Larry! These are fun. They give me so much to work with.
October 12th, 2011 at 5:09 AM
I’m so glad you watch these so I don’t have to. I enjoyed my NCIS double feature guilt-free, knowing the debate was in your capable hands. Did they manage not to boo or clap inappropriately for a change?
October 12th, 2011 at 4:13 PM
Haha thanks Denise! I made sure I watched my shows first. No innappropriate booing or clapping.
There was a heckler. I didn’t hear what he said, but it was written about today. He yelled out, “Why didn’t you guys say anything when the gay soldier was booed?’ Then he dropped the F-bomb.
October 12th, 2011 at 2:08 PM
Man, that was kinda the best debate summary I’ve seen all year. Remind me to check back here after each debate so I don’t actually have to hear any of these broken records play.
October 12th, 2011 at 4:18 PM
Haha thanks lyttleton! They are fun to write.
Great job on the WaPo Article and the radio interview!
October 12th, 2011 at 4:58 PM
Awesome as always. Through the whole debate I was thinking — I know Spinny’s gonna mention that!
I loved this — 3. “I was po before I was poor” so I can relate. But my policies will screw you. Thank God I’m not you anymore.
Soooo true. Now if only Mitt would call Gov. Goodhair that to his face — that would win my “Best Debate Evah” award. Perry looked so tired last night – I doubt he would notice.
October 13th, 2011 at 3:54 PM
😆 If he called Perry that, I would die laughing. It’s true, though. He has really nice hair.
He did look exhausted! Like spent.
October 13th, 2011 at 12:56 AM
i actually watched this one. the most hilarious thing was the look on gov little ricky goodhair’s face when he didn’t know the cameras were on him. he alternately looked like he farted and was trying to look like someone else did it, like he was looking for the waitress so he could get his check, and looking like he was sitting at the big people’s table for the first time and had no idea what everyone was talking about.
October 13th, 2011 at 3:55 PM
His body language did show that there were things he obviously didn’t understand. It was very interesting. He’s looking dejected these days.