The GOP Debate at The Church of Reagan

Actually, it was the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, CA. They did slice and dice Rick Perry as an offering to him though. In case you missed it, here are the highlights:

Michele Bachmann

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. You don’t have to ask Huntsman. I don’t have a “Gas is now under $2 a gallon” spell.
3. Why is the entire nation falling apart? Obamacare.

Herman Cain

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. Let’s privatize Social Security. ¡Viva Chile!
3. My 9-9-9 Economic Growth Plan is like Domino’s 5-5-5 Pizza Deal, but way better.

Newt Gingrich

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. You in the media are trying to get us to hate each other. We do, but we hate Obama more. And we all hate you.
3. Obamacare? My hate goes way back to Hillarycare, noobs.

John Huntsman

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. I believe in evolution and anthropogenic climate change. I have no chance in hell.
3. I also believe that pledges suck, and illegal aliens are human. Just in case you didn’t believe I have no chance in hell.

Ron Paul

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. Dude, I’m a doctor. Ask me why I hate healthcare.
3. No more FDA, TSA, FEMA, National School Lunch Program, and National Highway Traffic Safety Administration when I’m President. Hell, I might fire myself.

Rick Perry

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. Why is everyone beating up on me? Oh yeah because I’m the “piñata here at the party.”
3. Innocent people could have been executed in TX? Not a chance.

Mitt Romney

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. “Hey Perry! Dukakis did better than me at creating jobs? Bush did better than you. Which sounds worse?”
3. I have private sector experience, and my smile is just as beautiful as his hair.

Rick Santorum

1. Obama isn’t getting Americans working. I will.
2. I’m not constipated. I’m just really pissed at my poll numbers.
3. Reagan would be ashamed of all you isolationists. May we always occupy liberate!

Overall, it was entertaining. Romney and Perry exchanging jabs (pretty vs. pretty) spiced it up some. Like always, “Obama sucks” was the constant.


20 responses to “The GOP Debate at The Church of Reagan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: